Claim it.

I had a really long coffee with a sophomore girl this week, where we talked a lot about her insecurities, her stress, and just pressure in general. It ended with us making a little accountability deal. She now has to text me every night and tell me the percentage that she claimed herself for the day. Basically, I told her that we need her to be HER; I had her list the most beautiful people she has ever met, and then try to imaging the world without those people. Needless to say, she couldn't. I asked her what the one thing was that they all had in common; she said it was that they were themselves, original, humble, vulnerable, and true. I agreed.

In thinking about my future (stupid f word), I have been really trying to figure out what it is that I want to claim. Who am I, and what do I want--what do I NEED--to do. I read this great quote the other day:

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and go and do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

A-freakin-men.

Stephen and I got into this conversation last night, as per usual, about relationships. He asked me the kind of girl that I saw him dating, and I spent about ten minutes describing Miss Perfect Lohoefer to him. So then, naturally, I wanted to know what kind of guy he saw me with. He said no one right now. He said he thought I should be single right now, that I needed to spend some me time.

I was pissed. Offended, even. I mean, what? I'm not good enough yet to date someone? Who says that?
So I told Allie. She, cute and innocent as can be, said, "Well, I kind of agree. You're good just the way you are, and right now I don't think anyone would really build you up. I think right now, anyone would just bring you down." So sweet...

How many times though do we (do I) get nervous, pissed, anxious, offended, self-conscious, pressured to fill some societal expectation? Who said there was anything wrong with being single?

Similarly, I have recently decided that I am not career-shopping. I am next-step shopping. I need a job that won't make me miserable and that will pay bills. Period. Pressure off.

I have no expectations of committing to a future right now. Not with a person, not with a job, not with a living arrangement, not with a location.

I just want to be me and to claim it. It's time we all start being honest with the world, starting by being honest with ourselves.

I always have said that I am most me when I am on mission trips. As weak and as cliche as it is, I want to try to start being more the me that I was in Costa Rica this summer. That is what I am claiming.

Call + Response

Enough said. Go.

Abassicals (a word on the word sabbath)

Today was the best day ever. And when I say that, I really do mean that in the collection of best day evers that I have experienced within my lifetime, this is definitely in the top 5. Folks, it's going down in the books.

First, I got to sleep in. This may seem like an irrelevant aspect, but for me sleeping past 6:30 is a rare and monumental occasion.

Woke up, made coffee, and was eating cereal when Stephen asked to play tennis. Class suddenly became insignificant, and we played for a good hour and a half.

I went and grabbed Bella and picked up some chicken salad and spent the next 2 hours in the park reading, napping, praying, and basking in the sweet sun.

Kate called, and I went and had Tasti-d-lite with her. I went home and watched Grey's re-runs until Allie called to go ride bikes. We rode for 2 hours, and now I am here baking and relaxing in my pajamas.

Like I said, BEST. DAY. EVER.

Tova is gone for the month of October, except she is not going anywhere. As one of the junior high girls, Lina, called it, she is taking an "abassical." (that's 7th grader for "sabbatical").

We have been talking a lot about sabbath lately as a staff--talking about how we each need to start preserving a day of rest in observance of God's commandment, in an effort to take better care of ourselves, and to establish healthy boundaries between work and life. Honestly, though, I haven't really bought into it yet. I just have all of these excuses for why sabbath isn't all that necessary or relevant to our lifestyles. First of all, the commandments were written thousands of years ago, secondly, I am not Jewish or Israeli (who the commandments were written for originally), and finally there is the shear reality that I just don't have the time to do nothing for a day. In 21st century America, sabbath just isn't all that practical.

Today, I was humbled. I am reading Rob Bell and Don Golden's book Jesus Wants to Save Christians: A Manifesto for the Church in Exile, where they address the critical issues that separate Christians and the church from the body of Christ that God originally intended us to be. In Chapter One, "The Cry of the Oppressed," it says:

"The fourth commandment is to take a Sabbath, a day each week, and not do any work. In Egypt, [the Israelites] worked every day without a break, being treated as objects to be exploited, not people. The Sabbath is the command to take a day a week to remind themselves that they aren't in Egypt anymore, that their value doesn't come from how many bricks they produce. Their significance comes from the God who rescued them, the God who loves them."

Did you catch all that? The Sabbath is relevant. The reason we're called to take a day of rest, a day of not working, a day of not being a part of the system, is so that we remember that we can't do ANYTHING to gain significance. We are not measured by what we do. Our significance and worth ONLY comes from the God who rescued us and loves us.

In the past, I thought that Sabbath was a privilege, a selfish day of laziness and weakness. Now, I think the opposite. I think that by not taking a Sabbath, I am telling God that I actually believe that by working and doing and going, I will gain significance and worth. That there are far more important things for me to do than take the time to humble myself before Him, thanking Him for rescuing me and for giving me significance and worth. I am selfish proud for refusing to recognize that I am worthless without that love.

Sure puts a new meaning on best day ever.