Claim it.

I had a really long coffee with a sophomore girl this week, where we talked a lot about her insecurities, her stress, and just pressure in general. It ended with us making a little accountability deal. She now has to text me every night and tell me the percentage that she claimed herself for the day. Basically, I told her that we need her to be HER; I had her list the most beautiful people she has ever met, and then try to imaging the world without those people. Needless to say, she couldn't. I asked her what the one thing was that they all had in common; she said it was that they were themselves, original, humble, vulnerable, and true. I agreed.

In thinking about my future (stupid f word), I have been really trying to figure out what it is that I want to claim. Who am I, and what do I want--what do I NEED--to do. I read this great quote the other day:

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and go and do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

A-freakin-men.

Stephen and I got into this conversation last night, as per usual, about relationships. He asked me the kind of girl that I saw him dating, and I spent about ten minutes describing Miss Perfect Lohoefer to him. So then, naturally, I wanted to know what kind of guy he saw me with. He said no one right now. He said he thought I should be single right now, that I needed to spend some me time.

I was pissed. Offended, even. I mean, what? I'm not good enough yet to date someone? Who says that?
So I told Allie. She, cute and innocent as can be, said, "Well, I kind of agree. You're good just the way you are, and right now I don't think anyone would really build you up. I think right now, anyone would just bring you down." So sweet...

How many times though do we (do I) get nervous, pissed, anxious, offended, self-conscious, pressured to fill some societal expectation? Who said there was anything wrong with being single?

Similarly, I have recently decided that I am not career-shopping. I am next-step shopping. I need a job that won't make me miserable and that will pay bills. Period. Pressure off.

I have no expectations of committing to a future right now. Not with a person, not with a job, not with a living arrangement, not with a location.

I just want to be me and to claim it. It's time we all start being honest with the world, starting by being honest with ourselves.

I always have said that I am most me when I am on mission trips. As weak and as cliche as it is, I want to try to start being more the me that I was in Costa Rica this summer. That is what I am claiming.